


Dream. Steal. Love.

by DickGansey3



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Backstory, Childhood Trauma, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DickGansey3/pseuds/DickGansey3
Summary: Ronan saves Kavinsky from the dragon and gives him a second chance at life. Will Kavinsky take this as an opportunity to change his life for the better or will Ronan's act of kindness come back to bite him?*this story spans TRC books 2, 3, and 4 with Kavinsky scenes mentioned in between original canon





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

**Part I: The Dream Thieves**

Ronan dove for his brother. He dragged him away from the car and over to where Gansey and Blue were standing.  Blue grabbed Matthew’s hand as she and Gansey started back to the car.

“Ronan, let’s go!” They both shouted from ahead.

Ronan looked back as the dragon’s fire reflected in Kavinsky’s sunglasses.

“Get down!” He shouted, moving toward him quickly.

“Ronan!” Gansey screamed now.

“The world’s a nightmare,” Kavinsky said as the dragon ran toward him.

“Come down, you bastard!” Ronan shouted, pulling him off of the car just in time.  The dragon exploded into the Mitsubishi, engulfing it in flames and destroying itself.  Ronan watched as the fire melted the hood Kavinsky had been sitting on just moments before.  

“Why the fuck did you do that, you asshole?!” Kavinsky shouted, pushing Ronan away from him, “do you have a fucking death wish?”

“I should be asking you the same question you ungrateful prick!” Ronan screamed infuriated.

“You should have let me burn,” Kavinsky protested as he took his glasses off to wipe something from his eyes.  Then he looked up at Ronan.  There was a crazy desperation in his eyes, a vulnerability Ronan had never seen before.  It made the hair stand up on Ronan’s neck.

“I just wanted it to be over; a clean slate. It was my choice and you took that from me!”

“Kavinsky, there’s no fucking slate to clean if you’re dead, don’t you get that?”

“Exactly,” Kavinsky replied. It almost sounded as if he sighed the words, like he was too exhausted to speak.

Ronan shook his head in disbelief and sighed.

“It doesn’t have to be so fucking hard, K.”

“Oh yeah? And what're you gonna do to help me, huh? Gonna dream me a new fucking life Ronan? If not, don't give me that ‘it gets better’ bullshit.”

“If I could, I would.” Ronan said sincerely. “You know I would.”

Kavinsky’s eyes remained locked on his as Ronan walked backward toward the car before turning around to  join the others.  Kavinsky wasn't his problem anymore; he couldn't be.  It was up to him to change his own life.  He couldn't see him anymore. Hell, he didn't _want_ to see him anymore.  He could live without ever seeing his smug face again.

Ronan had to keep telling himself these things if he was going to remain focused on his own life; his own friends and family, not some punk who couldn’t give two fucks about his well-being.

But sometimes after a long day, panic and loneliness would creep into the back of Ronan’s mind; a longing for _something more._ On nights like those, if he thought long and hard enough, he could see Kavinsky in his dreams.

* **The Dream Thieves** ends just the same besides the sparing of Kavinsky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Added scene to Blue Lily, Lily Blue. Ronan & Kavinsky reunite after Ronan saves his life.

Part II: Blue Lily, Lily Blue

*the only Kavinsky scene other than occasional mentions

Ronan drove into the fairgrounds to find Kavinsky standing by one of the imperfect Evos, admiring his work. He turned at the sound of Ronan slamming the door of the BMW. Ronan was holding something small in his hands.

“K,” he greeted with a nod of his head and a huge grin.

“Lynch,” he replied as he walked toward him, trying not to look too eager. “Never thought I’d see _you_  again.”

“I wanted to give you this,” Ronan said handing over something badly wrapped in newspaper, “It’s a thank you gift for Mr. Gray’s Evo. You have no idea how helpful it’s been.”

“Aw sweetheart, you shouldn’t have,” he replied as Ronan rolled his eyes. “Seriously, though. Don’t mention it. If I think too hard about how that car could be helping your bitch Gansey, I might just take it back.”

“Shut the fuck up and open it,” Ronan pressed.

Kavinsky didn’t take his eyes off Ronan as he tore the paper. He looked down at his gift and began to laugh hysterically.

“You clever bastard!” He chuckled as he lifted the miniature Evo to his eyes, inspecting it for mistakes.

“It should meet your expectations,” Ronan insisted, “I think it’s permanently burned into my mind.”

Kavinsky pushed his sunglasses into his hair and looked closer to confirm that Ronan’s words were true. The miniature model was perfect. Although, he’d never let Ronan see it, he was in awe of him. He looked up at Ronan more seriously now.

“Is this all you came for?”

“I also wanted to see how you were doing,” Ronan admitted, “I haven’t seen you since...” His voice trailed off as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sighed.

“I'm alive if that’s what you came to see,” Kavinsky said sharply as he turned around and placed the mini Evo on the passenger seat of the car he’d been admiring earlier.

“I heard rumors your Mom went to rehab,” Ronan inquired.

“Oh yeah, where'd you hear that?” Kavinsky challenged.

“I've been asking around,” Ronan admitted, “Is it true?”

Kavinsky nodded, looking down at his feet as he kicked the dirt around below him,

“Keeping tabs on me I see?” He deflected before answering, “I sent her to Florida a few months ago. Could you believe she actually hit the 90 day mark last week?” He could tell Kavinsky was trying to hold back a smile.

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?” Ronan asked but received no reply, “What about you?”

As Kavinsky thought up a sarcastic comment, Ronan analyzed everything that had changed about him since their last encounter. The crazed look in his eyes had become content, maybe even sincere. His cheeks actually had color to them. It felt like for the first time since he’d known him, Kavinsky had blood running through his veins. What had once felt like a figment of his imagination was now a living, breathing man. Kavinsky met Ronan’s eyes as he moved them back up his body to his face. He had caught him checking him out. Ronan’s ears burned with embarrassment but neither said anything about it.

“I flushed everything the day I put my Mom on that plane to Florida,” he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “The coke, the dreaming pills. I wanted to be clean whenever she came back. After everything I’ve done, I didn’t want to be responsible for a relapse too.”

Ronan watched as Kavinsky put the cigarette between his lips and lit the end. The flame from the lighter made Ronan shudder as he remembered the dragon. He changed the subject.

“I see you're still smoking those cancer sticks, though.” Ronan teased.

“What's it to you?” Kavinsky challenged as he leaned back against the car and took a long drag.

“Afraid I won't taste good?” He said with a sly grin that made Ronan melt.

Ronan narrowed his eyes and bit his lip unconsciously as Kavinsky put out what was left of his cigarette on the hood of the Evo. He pushed himself off of the car and moved toward Ronan hesitantly. He could feel his heartbeat quicken with every step until he was face-to-face with him.

“Kavinsky,” Ronan started, putting a hand on his chest to stop him from coming any closer.

“Just listen, okay?” Kavinsky said as his heart pulsed under Ronan’s hand, “I know I’m no good for you. At least not right now. I’m toxic; a parasite, whatever. Everything you and your friends say about me is probably true.”

Kavinsky ran his thumb over Ronan’s bottom lip, torturing them both.

“But I couldn’t help myself if I let you leave here without giving you something too.”

Without giving himself a moment to change his mind, Kavinsky pulled Ronan by his shirt and pressed their lips together. Ronan instantly felt a surge of energy run through him as the electricity between them grew stronger. Ronan grabbed a handful of Kavinsky’s hair and pulled hard as Kavinsky sunk his fingers into Ronan’s back. Before it could go any further, Kavinsky pushed Ronan away and stepped back. For a few moments they just stood there looking at each other until finally Ronan said,

“I’m not gonna see you again, am I?”

Kavinsky lowered his sunglasses back over his eyes to hide the emotion within them. He walked over to his car and opened the driver’s side door before turning the key in the ignition. Just as Ronan was beginning to think Kavinsky was ignoring him, he shut the car door and said to Ronan,

“I’ll meet you in your dreams.”


	3. Part III: The Raven King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan decides he needs some help if he is going to save Gansey. He needs a dreamer, and he needs the best.

***** in this version of TRK Henry Cheng’s storyline is removed and replaced with a new Kavinsky storyline (see below)

“If we’re going to save Gansey we need to a)find Glendower and b)protect him from whatever bullshit comes his way, at all costs.” Adam said, pacing back and forth throughout the room. “Damn it, why couldn't she have told us about this sooner? A little heads up would have been nice. At least we would've had a head start.”

He was referring to Blue of course, who had known for months that Gansey was destined to die this year, but kept that fact hidden until Adam called her out at 300 Fox Way. The boys had thought they had all the time in the world to find Glendower and that, once they did find him, their one wish could be for riches or material possessions, not saving someone’s life. 

“Relax, Parrish, I’ll figure something out.” Ronan assured him.

“We need something to protect him, maybe to track his movements just in case something or  _ someone  _ were to happen to him.” Adam pressed.

Adam's stomach twisted in knots at the thought of Whelk holding a gun to Gansey’s head. He imagined what would have happened if Gansey hadn’t fought back. He could never forgive himself for not being there if he  _ had  _ been killed that night.

“I’ll try my best to pull something out,” Ronan assured him, “but it'll be hard to create something when I have no idea what I'm trying to produce, let alone what it looks like.”

* * *

Ronan dreamt for days with no success. Even if he could think of something to protect Gansey, he didn't have enough energy on his own to create such a thing. At least, not without a lot of practice.

“I wish I could help.” Adam said regretfully as he sat on the edge of Ronan’s bed. “I feel so useless. If only I could come into the dream with you.” 

“Parrish, you've done plenty. This is my contribution.”

_ Though I really could use some help.  _ He thought.

“There must be someone out there who could help us, a wizard or some shit. Ug, who am I kidding.” Adam scoffed at himself.

Ronan patted Adam’s shoulder, “It’s a good thought, Parrish.”

Ronan’ stomach did a flip as he thought up a solution.

“Come to think of it, there is someone.” 

Adam gave him a curious look before shaking his head. 

“No. I know what you're thinking and the answer is no, Ronan. We'll find another way. We don't need any more trouble than we already have.” Adam protested.

“I have to try. If I find him and feel any sense of doubt I'll leave and never look back. Otherwise I'm doing this all on my own. Trust me, I'm good at what I do but I'm not  _ that _ good.”

Adam scoffed and threw his hands up in the air. “Don't make me say I told you so.”


	4. In and Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreamer finds the thief and tensions rise.

Ronan scoured the streets looking for the Mitsubishi. He had already texted Kavinsky twice and called with no answer. There were whispers that he hadn't been seen for months, and some thought that he was dead. Ronan’s heart sank at the thought of it. He checked the fairgrounds first, where he had last seen him, with no success. Next, he drove through town hoping to catch K at a stoplight, or find him sitting on his car out front of some mini mart, bullshitting with Prokopenko over god knows what. Ronan stopped at one last red light and prayed for headlights to approach on the side of him, but it never happened. He sighed before making a quick u-turn and heading toward the only place left to check: Kavinsky's mansion.

* * *

_ In and out. _ Ronan thought to himself as he pounded on the front door.

Upon seeing the Evo in the driveway, Ronan immediately felt both a sense of relief and dread wash over him. He knew this was what he needed to do, but that didn't make it any easier.

“Kavinsky it's me, open up!” He shouted as he continued to bang on the door.

Suddenly the door flung open and the woman behind it shouted, “Can I help you?!”

The woman was wearing a black polka-dotted apron. Her hair was dark brown and pulled back into a bun. She anxiously toyed with the pearls around her neck as she analyzed Ronan’s expression. She was the epitome of a fifties housewife. Ronan could tell by looking at her eyes that she was Kavinsky’s mother.

“I apologize ma’am, I’m looking for your son.” Ronan said embarrassingly.

The woman waved a hand signaling Ronan to come in. She turned her head and called, “Niko!” Before walking over to the stove and stirring something in a pot. “Niko, you have a guest!”

Ronan could hear steps approaching from down the hall. Kavinsky walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks when he saw Ronan leaning against the countertop. He was shirtless, with a towel in his hand that he was currently using to dry his hair and the back of his neck. As Ronan’s eyes made their way down his body, he noticed how perfectly Kavinsky's jeans hung on his hips, showing just enough “V” to make Ronan’s heart skip a beat. Kavinsky stared right back at Ronan without words as Mrs. Kavinsky tasted whatever had been cooking on the stove. 

“Mom, I’ll be in my room,” Kavinsky finally said without taking his eyes off of him. He nodded for Ronan to follow him down the hall.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” She called just before they left the kitchen.

Kavinsky rolled his eyes as Ronan turned around hesitantly.

“Name’s Ronan, ma’am,” he said to her as he took her hand in his. She shook his hand lightly before letting it go.

“Charmed, I’m sure,” she said as her eyes glistened at the sight of him. Suddenly Ronan felt Kavinsky rescue him, pulling him by the arm back toward his room. 

“I think my Mom has the hots for you,” Kavinsky laughed as he opened the door to his bedroom and plopped onto his bed. Ronan stood awkwardly by the door as Kavinsky propped a pillow under his head.

“What’s with the fifties get-up?” Ronan asked as he unzipped his leather jacket before pulling it off and hanging it on the bedpost. 

Kavinsky watched Ronan’s every move as he replied, “Her shrink in the rehab told her that she needed some sort of structure when she got out and to maintain a strict schedule to keep her busy and distracted. Apparently a big reason for relapse is that the addict can't find anything better to do.” Kavinsky scoffed at his words.

“So anyway, every Sunday she gets dolled up like a fucking housewife and cooks italian. I used to love lasagna and now I can't stand the sight of it. She told me it makes her feel like the mom she should have been all along. It's really fucking sad now that I think about it.”

An awkward silence filled the room until Kavinsky finally broke it.

“Why the fuck are you here Lynch?”

“Nice to see you too,  _ Niko.” _ Ronan teased, “I thought your name was Joseph?”

Kavinsky rolled his eyes and sighed, “Joseph is my father’s name and Nikolas is my middle name after my grandfather. After everything went down with my Dad, I asked my Mom to start using my middle name instead. You wanna see my baby pictures next?”

“Fuck you,” Ronan laughed as he sat next to him, “I like it. It fits you.”

Ronan watched as Kavinsky’s eyes moved up and down his body. 

“I missed you,” Kavinsky said as his eyes returned to Ronan’s. 

_ In and out _ . Ronan reminded himself.

“I need you to dream with me again,” Ronan said without acknowledging K’s previous remark.

“Lynch I can hardly sleep anymore, let alone dream.” He said as he sat up from the bed and walked over to his closet. 

“And I don't have anymore dreaming pills anyway so, unless you and I come up with some sort of plan to fall asleep at the same time, there’s no way we're thieving together again.”

Ronan sighed in frustration and watched as Kavinsky put on his trademark white tank top, covering the extra bit of skin Ronan had never seen before. Kavinsky grinned and shook his head as if he had just told himself a funny joke no one else could hear.

“What are you so happy about?” Ronan inquired. He hoped Kavinsky hadn't caught him staring.

“Just remembering the old times,” Kavinsky said, “Before shit hit the fan and I fucked it all up.” He looked up at Ronan apologetically.

Ronan changed the subject. “I need you to help me make something that’s never existed before; something to track Gansey and maybe find Glendower.”

“So, you need my help to stalk your boyfriend?”

Kavinsky smirked as he watched the anger form on Ronan’s face.

“Relax, I’m fucking with you. I don’t normally offer my services for free, but i’ll make an exception for Ronan Lynch.”

As he said this, Ronan’s eyes moved to his lips. Kavinsky sat next to him, a little too close for comfort. Ronan stood from the bed before he did something he’d regret and began to analyze Kavinsky's room. It always amazed Ronan how much you could find out about a person just by looking at what they kept in their bedroom. His closet was lined with shelves holding designer jeans, thousand dollar shoes, polos with the tags still on them, over fifty pairs of sunglasses that Ronan had never seen him wear, and probably a hundred white tank tops. 

“If I had known you were going to come here and go through my things I would have cleaned up a bit.” Kavinsky remarked. 

Ronan ignored.

In the corner beside the bed stood a tall dresser covered in clutter: piles of fake ids, burner phones, a gold chain, and a half-empty carton of cigarettes. Above the dresser was a shelf that held a pair of familiar sunglasses, a miniature evo, and a pile of leather bracelets of different colors and patterns.

“It took me a few tries to get them right,” Kavinsky said as Ronan held the imperfect dream bracelets up to his eyes before returning them to the shelf.

_ Kavinsky has a Ronan shelf.  _

He couldn’t decide if he was flattered or creeped out. As Ronan turned to face the wall to his left, he found a piece of black clothing hanging from a hook. He lifted the item and found that it was a black cotton t-shirt with a small fray at the bottom, as if someone had been anxiously messing with the fabric over and over again. 

It was  _ his _ favorite t-shirt. 

“Where did you get this?” He asked suspiciously. “Have you been in my apartment?”

Kavinsky was standing next to him now and took the shirt from his hands. “I dreamt it.” He said in his defense. “Dreams are the only place you would ever let me take your shirt off.” 

“You took this off of me in a dream? No fucking way. I call bullshit.” Ronan challenged.

Kavinsky tossed the shirt back to Ronan and gave him a nod, “smell it if you don't believe me.”

Ronan furrowed his brows and lifted the shirt to his nose hesitantly. It was as if he had just taken it off; still strong with fabric softener and cologne. 

Ronan looked up at Kavinsky and chuckled in disbelief, “and you call  _ me  _ a stalker.”

Before Kavinsky could reply, they heard his mother yell, “dinner!” 

Kavinsky turned to Ronan and gave him an envious grin.

“Saved by the bell.”


	5. Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan, Kavinsky, and Mrs. k sit down for an awkward family meal.

Kavinsky entered the dining room and pulled a chair out from the table as Ronan headed for the door.

“Where are you going young man?” Mrs. Kavinsky asked as she placed a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs onto the center of the table. “I set the table for three. Sit down and eat, you look famished.”

“No thank you, ma’am. I don't want to impose.”

“That wasn't a question, young man.” She said more seriously now as she spooned a serving onto the plate next to Kavinsky. “Now sit down and tell me how you know my son.”

* * *

Ronan dug into the pasta immediately. Truthfully, he  _ was _ famished after a long day of stressing over dying men and welsh kings.

“Ronan and I weren't exactly friends from the start.” Kavinsky revealed, saving Ronan from the burden of explaining whatever their relationship was.

“But he’s the most honest guy I know. He’s the only person that called me on my bullshit when I was destroying everything around me, and probably the only person who would've cared if I had gone too far.” He looked at his Mom intently. 

“Mom, do you remember when you first got better, you would always ask me what caused me to change so much? Why I sent you to rehab when I did and finally got my shit together?”

Mrs. K nodded.

“You can thank Ronan Lynch.” Kavinsky replied, turning to Ronan with a mix of emotions on his face. 

Ronan was in disbelief at Kavinsky’s words. Up until this moment, he was under the impression that Kavinsky still resented him for saving his life that night. He didn't know what he felt in that moment; only that he couldn't even look Kavinsky in the eye without feeling  _ something. _

“It sounds to me that you have a pretty amazing friend. You better be sure to hold onto him.” She looked sternly at Kavinsky and turned to give Ronan a smile.

“Thank you for being there for my son.”

Ronan simply nodded and gulped down his drink. He never liked being seen as the hero. He had only done what was right. Anyone with a sense of morality would have done the same if their friend were in trouble.

“You know Ronan, he really could have used you these past few weeks. He's been under so much stress lately that he hardly sleeps. Hell, this is the first time i’ve seen him eat more than two bites of food in the last month.”

“Mom,” Kavinsky protested as his cheeks grew red.

Ronan looked at him but he could tell Kavinsky was purposely trying to avoid eye contact as he kept his eyes locked on his plate.

“When Niko was younger, just when things started getting really bad, he would come into my room at night and complain that he couldn't sleep. He was so terrified that even when he did sleep he would have terrible nightmares.”

“Ronan doesn't want to know my life story, Mom.”

“Go on,” Ronan insisted politely. He could see Kavinsky glaring angrily in the corner of his eye.

“He would curl into my lap, crying and trembling. All I could do to calm him down was to stroke his hair, ever so gently. Do you remember?” She asked Kavinsky from across the table. He nodded in reply but Ronan could tell he was very uncomfortable with being the topic of conversation.

“Anyway,” Mrs. K continued, “after a few minutes I would finally feel him fall asleep. It was like a light switch turning off. He would always wake up the next morning with the biggest smile, as if all was right with the world. Over breakfast he would tell me stories of neon colored animals and larger than life castles. Oh, and of course the dragons; they were his favorite.”


	6. Chapter 6

Kavinsky walked Ronan out to his car after thanking his mother one last time for the meal. 

“I'm sorry for all that.” Kavinsky said without looking at him. “She tends to get carried away.”

“I'm sorry.” Ronan said as he put a hand on Kavinsky's shoulder. “For whatever shit you had to go through. I can't imagine being that young and-”

Kavinsky cut him off and pushed his hand away. “No, you can't. You can't imagine shit so leave it.”

“If you wanna talk about it-”

“Talk about it!?” Kavinsky chuckled, “What makes you think I’d ever share  _ anything _ like that with  _ you _ ?”

Ronan suddenly felt like he was punched in the gut. A lump welled up in his throat. 

“I thought maybe I could help.” Ronan defended.

“Ronan Lynch, you really think you can solve everything don't you? Jesus, I don't even know why I'm doing this with you right now. Let's just get this dreaming business over with so you can help your precious Gansey and then we never have to fucking see each other again.”

Ronan gave in, “If that's what you want.”

“That's what has to be.” Kavinsky answered, enunciating every word. 

_ What has to be.  _ It echoed in Ronan’s mind.

“Whatever.” Ronan scoffed as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a black marker. He pulled Kavinsky's arm toward him and began writing.

“The fuck, Lynch?”

Ronan released his arm and put the cap back on the marker. “Meet me at that address tomorrow morning; the earlier the better. And don't sleep tonight.”

Ronan didn't wait for a reply before getting into the BMW and speeding off into the night. _Fuck Kavinsky_. If Ronan had to do this on his own he would just have to find a way. 

* * *

 

As Ronan pulled up to the barns and put the car in park, a flood of emotions overtook him as he recalled the way Kavinsky had just rejected him. He put his face into his hands and leaned his elbows on the steering wheel before cursing at himself over and over again.

After taking the keys out of the ignition and giving the dashboard a few frustrated slams, he forced himself out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. As he stomped up the stairs and onto the porch, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He walked into the house and through the doorway to the kitchen. After kicking his boots off and throwing the phone onto the table, he opened the fridge to look for something sweet. The phone buzzed again. He pulled out a carton of rocky road and slammed the freezer door shut before grabbing a spoon and digging in. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before picking the phone up off of the table and lifting it to his face. He leaned against the kitchen counter and could hardly stop himself from grinning ear to ear.

_ Forgot your jacket, asshole. _

_ Fits like a glove. _


	7. Chapter 7

The early morning sun began to show through the living room window just as Ronan caught himself nodding off. He leaned his head back onto the couch and thought about closing his eyes for a second; just long enough to rest his eyes without dreaming. He knew it was impossible, but he was exhausted.

_ Maybe K fell asleep. Maybe this is all for nothing. _

Just as Ronan began to discourage himself even more, he heard a car roaring up the driveway. He stood up quickly and looked out the window to see Kavinsky parking his Evo beside the BMW. A rush of panic washed over Ronan as Kavinsky stepped out of the car. He ran to the bathroom and brushed his teeth as fast as he could and splashed his face with cold water.

_ Who are you trying to impress?  _ He thought.

Ronan dried his face and stepped out of the bathroom just as Kavinsky walked through the front door holding a tray of coffees and a paper bag with a green logo on the side of it.

“Can you believe Starbucks doesn't open until 6am?” Kavinsky exclaimed in an aggravated tone.

Ronan debated on whether or not to bring up last night's conversation. Rather than start an argument, he decided to use his default response: humor.

“Bunch of yuppie assholes anyway, if you ask me.” He said, making Kavinsky grin.

He looked him up and down. The sun glistened around him as it rose from behind the trees. He could see his reflection in K’s sunglasses.

_ What does he see when he looks at me?  _ Ronan wondered.

He suddenly noticed that Kavinsky was wearing the leather jacket he had left behind. He was right, it  _ did _ fit like a glove. If it were up to Ronan, Kavinsky would never take that jacket off again.

Then again, if it were up to Ronan, he would do it for him.

* * *

Ronan and Kavinsky sat at the kitchen table, sipping their yuppie drinks and eating their yuppie pastries all while creating their game plan. Each of them was to think of an object that could 1)take commands, 2)track someone or something, and 3)notify Ronan and the others of imminent danger if needed. Once in the dream, together they would harness enough energy to bring the object to life and, if they felt satisfied with it, whoever was closest to the object would then bring it out of the dream.   

“Man, I am never letting you talk me into some shit like this again.” Kavinsky said as he followed Ronan up the stairs to his bedroom.

Ronan crawled onto the bed and buried his face into a pile of pillows. Kavinsky stood in the doorway watching him as he pondered his next move.

“I figured this would give us better chances of falling asleep at the same time, and of finding each other once we're there.” Ronan said as he turned around to face him.

It took a moment for Kavinsky to realize what Ronan was proposing: they were going to sleep in the same bed. It was, admittedly, something Kavinsky had always dreamed of doing, but he never actually thought Ronan would give him permission.

He hesitated for a moment before placing his sunglasses, wallet, and cigarettes on Ronan’s bedside table and removing his shoes. He looked at Ronan again, giving him one last chance to change his mind.

"Come on, I promise I won't bite." Ronan assured him.

Kavinsky unzipped Ronan’s jacket and hung it over the headboard before climbing into the bed. He could feel his heart racing as he stared up at the ceiling to avoid looking at Ronan Lynch by any means necessary.  Ronan grabbed an extra blanket from a chest beside his bed and tossed it over Kavinsky.

“I don’t know about you, but I can never sleep when I'm cold,” Ronan said as he laid his head back on the pillows.

Kavinsky turned onto his side to face Ronan and pulled the soft blanket over his shoulder. Neither took their eyes off of each other as they quickly drifted into dreamland. 

Just before their eyes closed fully, Ronan whispered something to Kavinsky.

“I'll meet you in your dreams.”


	8. Talking Trees & Robobees

Ronan could smell the earth surrounding him as he walked slowly through the trees toward a shallow pond in the distance.  Red and orange leaves crackled under his feet and as he looked up at the trees, he realized they were nearly bare. It was fall in Cabeswater, with winter not far behind.

“K?” He called out. “Are you here?”

As he waited for a reply, he leaned over the pond to see several koi fish swimming around together. Ronan couldn't quite figure out what, but there was something strange about their eyes. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the eyes of each of the koi fish were mirrors, reflecting everything around them. They weren't like eyes at all, they were more like sunglasses.

_Kavinsky_

As if someone had called him to do so, Ronan looked up just as Kavinsky approached the pond.

“Beauties, aren't they?” Kavinsky said as he admired his work.

“Very nice, K.” Ronan complimented as he stood up. “Now, if you don't mind, I’d like to move on to why we're really here.”

For the next couple of hours, Kavinsky and Ronan jumped in and out of sleep, each time dreaming up all sorts of crazy and imperfect contraptions. Giant bloodhounds, miniature remote control smart cars, and a drone that would operate based on voice commands.

“If we can just tweak this drone a bit, it'll be perfect for what we need.” Ronan remarked, “All it's missing now is some sort of a messaging function.”

“I can't fucking do it right now Lynch. I'm worn out.”

“K, you've taken whole cars out of dreams. You can't expect me to believe that three attempts at thieving are wiping you out.”

“Believe what you want Lynch, I’m waking up.”

Kavinsky was gone.

* * *

Ronan opened his eyes to find Kavinsky sitting up in bed with a somber look on his face. Ronan sat up next to him.

“You don't get how hard it is to help you knowing that-” Kavinsky hesitated for a moment.

“Knowing what? That you're helping Gansey? Will you get over it already.” Ronan replied, rolling his eyes.

“No, asshole. Knowing that it'll be just like before. You'll get what you want and that'll be the end of all of this.”

“The end of all of what?”

“Us. Here. What we're doing. I love dreaming with you Lynch, I always have. But feeling like i'm just being used until you don't need me anymore really takes the fun out if it.”

“You think I'm using you?”

Kavinsky looked at Ronan. His eyes said _are you kidding me?_

“K, even if you had said you didn't want to help me, I would have found a reason to see you.”

Ronan reached over and placed his hand on Kavinsky's arm.

"One more try?”

“I can't. Besides, I'm not tired anymore.” Kavinsky replied, ripping his arm from Ronan's touch.

“Well shit, I'm still exhausted.”

Ronan thought for a second about what to do. Maybe they'd try again another day. But what if it was too late? Who knew what could come tomorrow, or even today?

“Come here.” Ronan said as he nodded for Kavinsky to come closer.

“Hell no.” Kavinsky replied with skepticism.

Ronan pulled him back by his shirt and laid Kavinsky so that his head was resting on Ronan’s chest.

“Lynch, I'd hate to disappoint you, but I'm not much of a cuddler.”

“Shut up and work with me.” Ronan said as he slowly traced his fingers along Kavinsky's hairline, brushing hair away from his face. He could feel Kavinsky’s body tense on top of him. But, hearing no protest, Ronan continued combing his hair with his fingers for several minutes, ever so gently, until Kavinsky was asleep in his arms.

Ronan knew it was time for him to rest as well, but he couldn't help but stay awake and watch Kavinsky breathe. He had never seen him so peaceful; he wanted to burn this moment into his mind and save it for later.

He closed his eyes to try to sleep but couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of Kavinsky's lips on his. Ever since that kiss, there wasn't a night that he didn't lay awake thinking of what could have happened if he hadn't let Kavinsky pull away.

Suddenly, Ronan felt Kavinsky tremble on top of him. He opened his eyes to find him leaning up, holding what looked like a large wasp in his hands.

“What the fuck is that?!” Ronan exclaimed as he practically leapt out of the bed.

Kavinsky laughed his head off, “Relax!” He assured, “it’s a robot!”

Ronan collected himself as Kavinsky released the metal wasp and let it buzz around the room before commanding back to his hand.

“It has everything we need: gps tracking, voice command, and even a panic feature for when it senses someone is in danger. You can program it with phone numbers and it will notify the contacts of the location of danger, or whatever they're looking for. Plus, I thought it would be hilarious to watch Dick run from it.” He chuckled.

Kavinsky passed the robobee into Ronan’s hands to give him a closer look. Ronan raised an eyebrow as he analyzed K’s frankenstein creation.

“You're not mad are you?” Kavinsky inquired as he tried to read Ronan’s expression.

Ronan shook his head, “You certainly are an evil genius, K.” He said with a grin. “It's perfect. I'm so happy I could kiss you.”

Ronan didn't realize what he said until the words had already left his lips. He put the Robobee onto the bedside table and turned toward Kavinsky. Ronan was amazed at the vulnerability of the situation, and of the sense of control he felt by having Kavinsky in his bed. It was overwhelming.

Before Ronan could put his thoughts into action, Kavinsky took the blanket off and sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on. 

“Well, my work is done here.” He said as he stood up before putting his wallet and cigarettes back in his pocket. 

K hooked his sunglasses to the front of his shirt and looked at Ronan for some sort of signal to stay. Ronan didn't say a word.

“I guess this is goodbye, Lynch.” He said regretfully. “It's been real.”

Kavinsky was gone, again.


	9. The Heart Thieves

Ronan’s heart sank as he listened to Kavinsky make his way down the stairs.

_ You're letting him go again.  _ Ronan thought.

“Fuck,” he cursed at himself under his breath.He jumped up from the bed and went quickly out the door and down the stairs to follow him.

“K, wait.” He said as he caught his breath right before Kavinsky walked out of the front door. Just as K turned to see what he wanted, Ronan reached forward and pulled him into a kiss. 

Without taking their lips off of each other, Kavinsky pushed Ronan onto one of the couches in the livingroom. Ronan pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across the room, causing them both to laugh nervously before letting their mouths connect once more. Kavinsky ran his hands along Ronan’s chest, waist, and stomach, moving lower by the minute. Ronan leaned up and flipped them both over, pinning Kavinsky to the couch. He ran his lips across K’s neck and collarbone but stopped dead in his tracks as he felt Kavinsky begin to loosen his belt.

“Stop,” he breathed. Kavinsky put his hands up as if he was surrendering. He looked like a child who had just been scolded.

“I'm sorry,” Ronan said as he and Kavinsky both sat up on the couch. “I've never done anything like this before.”

“Neither have I.” Kavinsky admitted.

Ronan furrowed his brows curiously. 

“Then what the hell was that?” Ronan queried, referring to Kavinsky's brave attempt at disrobing him.

“Lynch, have you seen yourself in the mirror?” Kavinsky replied with raised eyebrows and a smirk. “I couldn't help myself.”

“Oh, please.” Ronan said, brushing off the compliment. He looked down bashfully and nervously began to play with the leather bands around his wrist.

Kavinsky reached over and grabbed Ronan’s hand to analyze the area under his bracelets. He ran his fingers over the scars Ronan’s nightmares had left.

“Do you ever think about what things would be like if you hadn't reached me in time?” Kavinsky inquired. 

Ronan felt his breakfast in his throat.

“I dream about it all the time,” Ronan confessed as he wrapped his free hand around Kavinsky's.

“I have nightmares like that too.” Kavinsky responded. “Except they're about you. I try to save you but it's always too late.”

“K, what are you talking about?”

He looked at Ronan and wondered if he should go on or not.

“The night I found out what you were; when I saw you wake up bleeding from these cuts; I said I saw you from Prokopenko’s window, but I didn't tell the whole story.”

Ronan stood from the couch and walked toward the front door before turning back around to face him.

“ _ You _ called the ambulance that night.” Ronan said, answering his own question before it was even asked. Kavinsky nodded shamefully at the secret he had been holding onto for so long. 

“Why didn't you tell me? Shit, knowing you, I would've expected you to brag about it just to get a one-up on Gansey. Why continue to let me hate you for so long?”

“We all have parts to play, Lynch.” He explained. “Gansey is your best friend. He needed to be the hero that night. I was perfectly fine with staying the villain so long as I knew you were okay.”

Ronan shook his head in disbelief and thought about everything he and Kavinsky had said and done to each other since that night. He couldn't even look at him.

_ What if. What if. What if. _

Kavinsky stood from the couch and walked over to Ronan. He had turned away from him and was looking out the screen door at the fields and the trees beyond them. K ran a hand along his back and over the ink that covered almost every inch of his skin. 

Ronan wanted so badly to be angry with him, but his heart recognized the good in what Kavinsky had done, even if he lied about it.

Kavinsky wrapped his arms around Ronan from behind and began slowly kissing his neck, starting from the area behind his ear and moving down to his shoulder.

“I'm sorry.” Kavinsky whispered. 

“I understand why you did it.” Ronan replied as he wrapped Kavinsky's arms around him more tightly.

“Lynch,” Kavinsky went on as he began to trace the part of Ronan's tattoo that marked the back of his neck, “I'm also sorry for touching you that day when you were on the dreaming pills. I was too fucked up at the time to realize just how wrong it was.”

In that moment, Ronan couldn't hold his feelings back any longer. Kavinsky had finally redeemed himself. A weight had been lifted off of both their shoulders. 

Ronan turned around and began kissing every inch of him. As he did this, Kavinsky pulled Ronan closer by his waist so that their hips nearly grinded against eachother. Now Ronan felt his own hands inching dangerously close to Kavinsky's lower half. He couldn't handle anymore. He pulled away as he felt himself on the verge of taking Kavinsky right there on the couch.

Kavinsky stepped back to restrain himself as well. He looked Ronan up and down and bit his lip hard.

“You don't know how difficult it is to not touch you right now.” He confessed.

“Oh believe me, I know.” Ronan said in agreeance as he attempted to slow his heart rate.

Kavinsky sighed and brushed past him to walk out the front door. Ronan grabbed his hand in protest. 

“I need a cigarette.” Kavinsky explained, clutching his hand to pull him onto the porch with him. “I have to do something with my hands if I'm gonna keep them off of you.”


	10. Chapter 10

“If I ask you something, can you promise you won't get pissed off and leave?” Ronan asked as Kavinsky put the cigarette to his mouth. 

“Cross my heart.” He said as he made the motion over his chest. 

“What ever happened with your Dad?”

Kavinsky leaned his head back to look at the blue sky above.

"I'm afraid Lynch," He admitted. "I don't want you to think of me any differently."

Ronan shook his head, "I promise I won't."

"Or pity me." K added. "The last thing I want is you feeling sorry for me. I've got to keep my image up." He laughed.

Kavinsky took a long drag from the cigarette and sat on the front step. Ronan sat beside him and looked out into the fields. The sun was at its highest point which meant it was probably lunchtime. Ronan's stomach growled in response to this realization.

“Okay, here goes. As far back as I can remember, my dad’s always been someone to fear. One of my earliest memories was of my dad walking into the kitchen in the middle of dinner covered in blood. We all knew it wasn't his, but no one ever mentioned it."

Kavinsky put his hand on the step so that it was barely touching Ronan's. Just close enough to feel his presence beside him.

"I was always a disappointment to my father. I was too gentle, too sweet. ‘Always in your head!’ he would scold me. He wanted someone ruthless like him to take over the family business one day and he knew I would never be that man. So, he thought he could make me that way.”

Kavinsky fell silent for a moment and took a few more puffs before continuing. 

“One day, my dad brought home a baby bird that had fallen out of a tree. He had a broken wing and probably wouldn't have lasted a day or two, but I was convinced I could save him.” Kavinsky smiled. “I remember running around the house looking for things to make into a splint and digging through the fridge for something to feed him.”

His expression turned somber as he put out one cigarette and lit another. Ronan placed his hand in Kavinsky's and linked their fingers together. Kavinsky affectionately ran his thumb over Ronan's and sighed.

“Anyway, I fed the bird some applesauce and started putting a tiny cast on him when my father walked up beside me and handed me a hammer.”

Kavinsky squeezed Ronan's hand and Ronan squeezed back.

_I'm here._ Ronan said with his eyes. 

“He handed me the hammer and told me to kill him; to put him out of his misery. I was just a kid, of course I wasn't going to smash a baby bird to death. So, naturally I ran from him, taking the baby bird with me into my room. He came in after me, ripped the bird right out of my hands and said ‘this is what happens when you let other people handle business for you!' He smashed it to pieces, right on my bedroom floor.”

“Christ, Kavinsky." Ronan said as he shook his head at the horror of it all. "That's fucking horrible."

Kavinsky nodded.

“That's also the day my father broke my jaw; the first of many bones I'd eventually have to mend back together because of that man.” Kavinsky said as he stared blankly. “He didn't even clean the feathers off of the hammer before he tried to smash my face in with it.”

He was trembling now, but he tried his best to hide it. Ronan wrapped an arm around Kavinsky in an attempt to comfort him.

“I didn't want to kill him, Ronan.” He defended. “He was beating the shit out of her. I saw his gun in his back pocket and I took it as an opportunity.”

“You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to.” Ronan assured him.

“I was twelve. I had never even held a gun in my hands before and I killed someone on my first try; shot him right in the head. What kind of shit is that?!” He scoffed as his eyes became glossy.

Ronan didn't know what to say. In this moment, everything Ronan had ever thought about Kavinsky was turned on its head. He wasn't a selfish asshole, he was a scared kid turned bad. 

Kavinsky leaned his head on Ronan's shoulder and felt Ronan's grip tighten around him.

“Right before the ambulance came, I decided I needed a souvenir. I needed something to commemorate just how strong I felt in that moment. I was finally the man he said I could never be.”

Kavinsky clutched the gold chain around his neck and pulled it over his head before placing it in Ronan's hands.

“I took that off of my father as he bled out on the floor. I've worn it everyday since like a fucking trophy.”

Ronan looked at the chain for a moment and then stood from the step to toss it as far as he could out into the fields. Kavinsky looked at him in awe.

“You don't need that anymore." Ronan insisted, angrily. "Look at the life you've built for yourself, without him. Without _being_ like him. You're ten times the man your father could have ever been. You know that. You know who you are and what you are."

"And, if I don't?" Kavinsky challenged. Even years later, he wasn't confident in himself or his decisions. He didn't believe he would ever be anything beyond that scared little boy. Kavinsky turned himself into the man he was today out of fear. He made himself out to be a trouble-maker and a thief to protect himself but he feared that was all he'd ever be.

Ronan leaned over and kissed him, taking his face into his hands.He moved his mouth over Kavinsky's ear and whispered.

" _I_ know what you are."  


	11. Chapter 11

Ronan arrived at Monmouth Manufacturing on a bleak Tuesday evening wondering if he should mention anything regarding ~~Joseph~~ ~~Niko~~ Kavinsky. He held chainsaw in one hand and the robobee on his shoulder and made his way up the stairs to find Gansey sitting at his desk, scrawling something into his journal. He turned around at the sound of Ronan's footsteps.

“Where have you been?” He practically scolded like a concerned father. “I called! I left messages!”

Chainsaw nipped Ronan's hand anxiously at the sound of it. Ronan brushed off Gansey's tantrum and handed him the robobee with a silent smirk. Gansey detected a sense of victory in his eyes.

Gansey initially squirmed at the sight of him, but soon realized that he did not have the ability to ~~harm~~ kill him. He reached his hands out hesitantly and examined the dream creature.

“What is it? What does it do?”

“This,” Ronan said as he took the bee back, “is our new best friend.”

* * *

 Gansey, Blue, and Adam (and occasionally Noah) sat in a circle and watched the artificial insect, in awe of its magic. Ronan demonstrated his ability to control the bee and explained how his thoughts could command it to perform various actions from tracking something down to attacking a known threat.

“So, let me get this straight. If I was in trouble, it could protect me just by reading my mind? Or find something by my request?” Gansey inquired. “Perhaps something, ahem, Welsh?" 

Gansey looked like an innocent child, waking up to find presents on Christmas morning.

"Not exactly.” Ronan responded, to Gansey's dismay.

He made a motion with his hand, causing the robobee to lower itself to the floor. Gansey's expression turned sour.

“It can only be commanded by its creator," he explained, "and whomever he chooses.”

Chainsaw eyed the robot suspiciously and moved closer to Ronan to guard him.

"Kerah," she called endearingly as she burrowed into his chest. 

Ronan put his other hand around her, nearly covering everything but her head.

“Okay, so just tell the bee to listen to Gansey.” Blue said as-a-matter-of-factly, flicking one hand up and leaning the other on her hip.

“No shit.” Ronan said back, as-a-matter-of-factly. "But  _I_ can't."

The group waited with confused expressions for some sort of explanation.

Ronan hesitated.

Ronan _never_ lied.

“I’m not the creator.” He admitted. “I only have permission to use it.”

Gansey raised an eyebrow and looked at Blue, who looked back at Gansey and then at Adam, who was already looking at Ronan.

Adam had daggers in his eyes.

“Kavinsky.” Adam answered for him. “You put our fate into the hands of Joseph Kavinsky.”

* * *

“You knew about this?!” Gansey shouted at Adam.

Adam scoffed and shook his head before walking away from the circle and into Noah’s room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Gansey swung the door open and found Adam sitting on the bed, his eyes heavy with defeat.

"Adam, you could have warned me. Together we could have talked him out of it and prevented this whole thing. Why keep this hidden from me?"

_Because I'm trying to save your life._ Adam thought.  _And that has to stay hidden._

“Let me ask you something, Gansey.” Adam said without any intention of waiting for a response. “When will Ronan Lynch ever be held accountable for his own actions? We can't babysit him forever. We won't always be there to dig him out of whatever mess he's gotten himself into.”

Ronan was still in the main room, but he winced at the words coming from the other side of the wall.

“This is not about Ronan.” Gansey remarked.

“You're damn right it's not about Ronan!” Adam shouted as he stood from the bed. Gansey was surprised by his anger and took a step away from him in response.

“It's about us!" He said as he stepped closer and jabbed a finger at his chest. "It's about how Ronan brought an outsider into _our_  circle and gave him control over _our_  safety knowing full-well that the man is deranged. For Christ's sake, it has a tracker on it. How do we know Kavinsky won't go postal again and follow our every move?”

Gansey put his head down and thought about it. His head was spinning.

“How do we know he won't command the bee to attack you?” Adam questioned, pointing a finger at Gansey now. His eyes were filled with a fire-like rage Gansey had never seen before.

Adam sat back on the bed and, looking down at the floor, shook his head as if he were shaking his anger away.

Gansey didn't recognize him. It was as if someone or something else had taken over.

“Don't you dare blame me for any of this." Adam said, more calmly now. "I told Ronan to dream. I told him to find help. I never thought he'd actually seek out Kavinsky, let alone partner with him.”

Gansey sighed and walked over to Adam. He put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Gansey sighed. "You're right. None of this is your fault, Adam. I don't know what got ahold of me."

Adam nodded, letting Gansey know he heard him. 

"I don't know what got ahold of me either." Adam responded. Only to him, these words were meant in a much more literal sense than Gansey's.

Gansey shuffled a hand through Adam's hair playfully and turned around to head back into the living room.

“Ronan, I appreciate the effort, I really do." He said as he approached him, knowing he was possibly hurting his best friend's feelings. "But in this case, the risk outweighs the reward. I have to look out for all of us. The creature needs to go."

Ronan reached into his pocket and took out his phone.

"Ronan." Gansey said anxiously as he pondered Ronan's next move.

“Do it.” Ronan said to the person on the other end before hanging up.

"Ronan, are you even listening to me!?"

But Ronan didn't hear him. He was paying attention to the bee. It squirmed a bit, as if it were waking up. Moving its antennae first, and then its wings, it lifted itself into the air and swiftly made its way out of an open window.

“Where is it going?” Blue asked as she stuck her head out of the opening. She watched curiously as the creature buzzed around in front of the building, as if it were waiting for someone to follow it.

Ronan looked at Blue and smiled.

“It's taking us to Glendower.”


	12. Chapter 12

Gansey couldn't believe it. How in the hell did Ronan convince him to get into the back of Joseph Kavinsky's car, knowing that Kavinsky had full control over their destination? 

_ We'll all end up dead in a field somewhere.  _ He thought.

_ If we're lucky, it won't be on the ley line. _

He couldn't imagine being stuck like Noah. His stomach turned.

He could feel an elbow digging into his ribs. It was Blue, who was squeezed in the middle with Adam on the other side of her. Adam leaned his head against and the window and stared out into the blackness of the night. 

They had been on the same two-lane road for an hour with no specific end in sight. The robobee, who would only become visible now and again, was far ahead of the car and transmitted directions through the gps built into Kavinsky's dashboard.

_ Remain on this road for x miles.  _ It would say every half-hour or so in a robotic british accent. 

Blue leaned forward and sighed, resting her elbows on her knees to prevent them from bruising Gansey any further. She observed the activities going on in the front of the car with a certain curiosity that one only achieves in times of extreme boredom. 

Blue watched as Ronan put his finger over a button on the stereo, in an attempt to skip to a different song, only to have Kavinsky smack his hand away in protest. She raised an eyebrow at the way they looked at each other. Their mouths barely made a grin, but their eyes were smiling. She also noticed the small giggle that ensued between the two of them, as if they had just told each other an inside joke. Ronan couldn't stop looking him now, even as Kavinsky's eyes returned to the road.

“Evo,” Kavinsky called, seemingly to no one. “Play  _ Ronan’s _ playlist.”

Ronan looked at him curiously as the radio began blaring ear-piercing electronica through the speakers. 

“I told you before,” Kavinsky said with a mischievous grin, “I’m in your head.”

Blue observed Ronan’s reflection in the window as he turned away from Kavinsky.  He was holding back a smile and teething the leather around his wrist.

Suddenly, a loud beeping sound went off in the front of the car, interrupting the music and jolting everyone awake. Kavinsky swore under his breath.

It was the radar detector, a minute too late.

Kavinsky didn't even have time to glance at the speedometer before passing the cop car, hidden behind some trees on the side of the road. The red and blue lights flashed immediately and the car was behind the mitsubishi within seconds. Kavinsky looked at Ronan anxiously before pulling to the side of the road.

“It's gonna be fine.” Ronan assured. “You have ‘em paid off anyway, don't you?”

Kavinsky took a hard swallow as he watched the cop step out of his car. “That  _ would _ be true if we were in Henrietta.”

“And how far are we from Henrietta right now?” Gansey inquired.

Kavinsky sighed and rolled the window down. “I have no fucking clue.”

* * *

“Do you know why I pulled you over today?” Asked the officer as he leaned over the open window with one hand resting on what one could only assume was a firearm. Though his “why” sounded more like “wah”. Gansey couldn’t quite place his accent.

“I can't say I do, sir.” Kavinsky answered in his most professional tone.

“You were traveling at 90 miles per hour in a 65 mile per hour zone. I'm not sure where you're from son, but in these parts that violation can result in a loss of license plus jail time. 

Ronan's eyes met Gansey's in the rear view mirror. 

_ Help. _ Is what he wanted to say.

Gansey thought quickly. 

“If I may, sir.” He interrupted from the back seat, raising his hand like a first grader. 

The cop flashed a light into the car to survey its inhabitants. 

“Is there a problem, boy?” He asked as he flashed the light directly into his eyes.

“Well sir,” Gansey replied as he shielded his eyes with his arm, “My friend was rushing because we’re on sort of a deadline. You see, my mother is running for congress and we were supposed to help her set up for a fundraiser tomorrow morning. We're running extremely late already and, with the stress I'm under to get everything done in time, I pressured Mr. Kavinsky to speed up. It's my fault sir. Don’t punish him for my irresponsible thinking.”

The cop thought hard for a moment and replied, “Your Mom, she's a republican right? The one all over the news speaking on the right to bear arms?”

“That'd be her, officer.”

“Well, I reckon being involved in a campaign like that would indeed be very stressful. ‘Specially with all them lib’rals spoutin’ their propaganda all over the place. I'll tell you what, son. You promise me you’ll follow the speed limit for the rest of your drive and I'll let your friend off with a warning.”

“Agreed,” Kavinsky and Gansey answered in unison. 

“I'll let y’all be on your way then. Tell your mother good luck from me, ya hear?” 

Gansey nodded and smiled as the cop returned to his car and sped off, probably on his way to catch his next victim. Kavinsky exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath the entire time and leaned his head back against the headrest.

“You know Dick, you're not half bad.” He said, looking at Gansey through the rearview mirror.

“I never was.” Gansey replied sharply.

“Well, that's subjective.” Kavinsky retorted. “Mind if I have a smoke before we get back on the road?”

Adam rolled his eyes, Ronan opened his door, Gansey shook his head “no”, and Blue shouted:

“Yes, we mind. We don't have time for this. I have a curfew to make, and who knows how much farther we have to go.”

“Relax.” Gansey said as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Blue's ears turned hot in response. 

“Let the man have a cigarette. He just barely escaped getting put in handcuffs.” He looked at Kavinsky with a  _ you owe me  _ stare.

Kavinsky gave Blue a smile that said “I won” and stepped out of the car into the night.

“Where are  _ you _ going?” Blue called, directing her attention towards Ronan's open door.

“Is it a crime to get fresh air?” He snapped as he shut the door behind him and walked over to where Kavinsky stood and lit his cigarette.

“Did we enter an alternate universe?” Adam asked, posing the question to no one in particular.

While Adam and Blue vented to each other about the lack of arm room and just how awful Joseph Kavinsky was, Gansey observed the action going on outside of the car. 

He watched Ronan approach Kavinsky as he flicked ash off of his cigarette. Ronan mouthed something to him, to which Kavinsky nodded in reply before taking another drag. Gansey noticed the way they looked at each other, the same way he looked at Blue, and how Ronan just barely touched Kavinsky's hand before turning his head toward the car. Gansey quickly lowered his eyes. He turned his head slightly to see that Blue and Adam were still deep in conversation. His heart pounded as he heard the boys get back into the front seat. 

“Ready to go fuckers?!” Kavinsky shouted over the stereo. 

He revved the engine and pulled back onto the road. Zero to sixty in four. Zero to ninety in nine. Kavinsky never learned.


	13. Chapter 13

Gansey sat in the car and put his head between his knees.

_ What a waste. _

They arrived at their destination around eight o’clock.  Gansey recognized the old mansion immediately.  It was the same mansion where he had nearly died.  Glendower had been here all along.  Gansey did not find humor in the irony of it all.

The bee led them under the house and through a long, dark tunnel.  After several obstacles and near-deadly falls, they found Glendower’s resting place.  Upon opening his tomb, they not only discovered that he was merely a pile of bones, but also that he was not able to be woken.  He was not asleep, he was dead, and had been all along.

_ What a waste. _

The rest of the group piled in after him. No one said a word to Gansey, or to each other. The two hour drive back to Henrietta was silent beside the occasional sound of Ronan-esque electronica and bulgarian hip hop.

Halfway through the drive, Blue had fallen asleep on Gansey’s shoulder, Adam dozed off against the window, and Kavinsky was fighting sleep.

“Lynch,” He called, startling Ronan, who had been drifting in and out of sleep. “Do you think you could get me a cup of coffee?”

“Hmm?” Ronan questioned, sleepily. “Oh. Yeah of course.  How do you like it?”

Gansey furrowed his brows at the conversation going on in the front seat.

“Hazelnut, two sugars.” Kavinsky replied as he shook off fatigue and widened his eyes.

Ronan closed his eyes and used his hands as a pillow before leaning against the window to sleep.  A few minutes later, Ronan jolted himself awake with a cup of coffee in his hands.  Kavinsky reached over and grabbed it before taking a gulp.

“Shit, that’s hot!” He exclaimed with a chuckle, “Thanks man, you’re a lifesaver.”

Gansey rolled his eyes and sighed.

_ Dreamers. _

 

* * *

 

The mitsubishi arrived at 300 Fox Way at 10:55, just in time for Blue to make curfew. She thanked Kavinsky begrudgingly and said her goodnights to the boys before disappearing into the house.

The boys were relieved when the evo finally pulled into the lot of Monmouth Manufacturing. Adam practically jumped out of the car, not even waiting for Kavinsky to put it in park.

“Parrish?” Ronan called as Adam reached his car and unlocked to door.

“What's the rush? Aren't you gonna say goodnight?” Ronan continued, sounding more sarcastic than he intended.

“I have a paper to finish.” Adam replied. “I'll see you guys at school tomorrow.”

Adam was gone before Gansey even had a chance to say goodbye, not that Gansey was really up for talking at this point.

He stepped out of the car and waited by the door to Monmouth for Ronan to follow.

“Dick, I'm really sorry we went through all that trouble for nothing.” Kavinsky said with an arm hanging out of the car. “That really sucks man.”

“Excuse me,” Gansey inquired. “Did you just say the trouble  _ we _ went through. There is no  _ we  _ Kavinsky. You haven't been here all along searching for him. You haven't been in and out of Cabeswater looking for some sort of clue, you were too busy stealing from it instead.” Gansey remarked coolly as Ronan made his way out of the car and over to him.  Gansey assumed Ronan was about to attempt to calm him down, but it was too late for that. His expression was emotionless apart from the fire in his eyes.

“I get it, man. I just meant with us going all that way and-”

“You're right.” Gansey interrupted with a smile. “It _was_   a waste of time. I wish I could get the last few years of my life back, knowing what I know now. I wish you could've helped us out sooner, maybe a few months ago. Oh wait, you could have helped us but you were too busy torturing Ronan and doing lines.”

Kavinsky let out a small laugh and shook his head.

“You got balls saying that shit to me, Dick.”

Gansey tried to bite his tongue but his next words had already come out.

“I know there's something going on between you two.”

Ronan felt as though an elephant had sat on his chest. His heart was racing, he couldn't breathe, and he feared that at any moment he was going to get sick.

“I don't get it Ronan,” Gansey continued, “Have you forgotten what he put you through?”

But Ronan _had_ forgotten. Ever since the fourth of July, Ronan had dreamt of Kavinsky nearly every night. Each time, he created a new memory of him to replace the old. Ronan had never tried to use dreams for the purpose of retraining his brain, but once he learned he couldn't stop.

According to Ronan's current memories, Kavinsky was still a liar, a thief, and a reckless cokehead who sucked at being a friend. Ronan only changed the memories that were too painful for his brain to accept: Matthew's kidnapping being the biggest change of all.

In Ronan's retrained mind, Matthew had been safe and sound, sleeping in his bed when Kavinsky created the dragon. Ronan brought out the night terror not to save Matthew, but to save Kavinsky from suicide. Even the memory of Kavinsky touching him while unconscious had been tucked away until he apologized for it. The memories were still there, deep in his subconscious, they just had to be uncovered.

“Ronan!” Gansey shouted, regaining his attention. “How could you forgive him? For manipulating you? Drugging you? For  _ Matthew _ ?”

Everything suddenly became clear to Ronan. The memories came back in waves and flashes.

 

_ Paralysis. _

_ Dying is a boring side effect. _

_ Fag. _

_ With me or against me. _

_ Fire. _

_ Kavinsky's laughter. _

_ Matthew. _

 

Ronan didn’t know how he got there, but he was on his hands and knees; his palms scuffed and burning from the pavement. He began to hyperventilate as Kavinsky and Gansey both ran toward him. But it was too late.

_ Flash. _

Vomit.

_ Flash. _

Blackness.


End file.
